I had already typed out an email I was going to send you this morning
But change of plans
I want to show you 2 screenshots really quick
Consider this a reminder about the kind of person I am
And why it would be foolish of you to expect me to act any differently
Both Email screenshots were responses to my email yesterday morning
And out of respect for privacy
I have blurred the names of both senders
Here's how this works:
I'll reproduce my yesterday's email here...
Then I'll show you both responses (which are still cracking me up)
Here's my email (1/17/21)
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Listen...
I don't know for how long you've been reading my emails
But if you've been reading my emails for at least 30-days (which is the amount of time it took my father to convince my mom that he wasn't a scummy human being... back when they first met in Kwale, Delta State)
...And you've come to the conclusion that:
You get wayyyyyy more value from my emails,
Than you do from any other email list you've been on
And you're not telling the person you're currently fornicating with about it...
Even your friends and family
Then you and I may need to admit the obvious:
You're being very selfish
No.. what kind of human being are you?
Why won't you tell people how much you're learning from my emails?
Why????
And what's your excuse?
You better start behaving
If you enjoy reading my stuff
You gotta tell people about it
The link to subscribe is: andymukolo.xyz
Hundred Naira only.
Wait... So what's in it for you??
Nothing.
If you like do it
If you like don't do it
You think you're doing me?
You're not doing me
You're doing yourself
And you better watch out!!
Because my next email is going to be...
LOL, I have no freaking idea what my next email will be about
Heck, I don't even know what I'm doing with my life today
Whatever
I'm off
A.
P.S: My Copywriting training for January is still on...
If you're not already signed up
You better join today
Because I might just wake up tomorrow and decide to...
Hehehehe! I'm not waking up tomorrow and deciding anything
You can always join whenever you're ready
No pressure
If you're ready to join now...
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The first response:
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LOL!!
Even though this cracked me up
It didn't make me laugh as hard when I read the 2nd response...
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Even though this came from one of my very favourite students (whom I love dearly)
The complaint holds no water.
Because if you're a bible believing pastor...
Or a Q'uran believing Imam
And you spend your time reading daily emails of a Godless heathen,
Then you should have your head examined.
And how is it my business if people don't have a sense of humor?
Or if they're offended by my harmless choice of words?
Listen:
People think I'm |<idding when I say:
"Don't subscribe to my email list if you're easily offended"
It is NOT a marketing strategy
I'm not saying it to make you want to join my list
I'm forewarning you.
But people always like to try their luck
And The thing is:
If you walk into a building that boldly says "strip club" at the entrance
You enter the strip club
And then after 5-minutes...
You complain you're offended by the abundance of naked women shaking their raw bum bum... flirting with you and asking you.. very sweetly... If you'd love a lap dance
Or that you don't like how everyone is smoking and drinking
Or that the music is too loud
Then there's something seriously wrong with you.
Anyway... in case you didn't know before
Here's another disclaimer:
If you're easily offended
Or if you think my own is becoming too much
- Scroll down to the bottom of this email
- Click the unsubscribe button
- And Unsubscribe now.
Do it now or forever remain silent
And if...
Despite knowing how vulgar, blunt and unorthodox my writing can be sometimes
You still think...
"Well... he can be annoying sometimes, but fuck it... I learn so much from his emails and I want to keep reading his stuff"
Then good and fine.
And oh...
In case you're wondering:
Whatever you decide is none of my business.
Afternoon.
A.
P.S: New testimonials from my students....
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Results! Results! Results!
I do my part, you do yours
And the natural outcome is that you make good money for yourself.
Enough to have peace of mind
Buy nice things for yourself
Take care of a few things at home
And just live life not worrying so much about money again (like most people do)
The year has barely started
And some of these folks are already making more money than they hoped they'd make in the first 3 months of 2021
Good teaching always produces successful students
Want to become a student of mine?
The fee to join my ongoing Copywriting class is N35,000
Less than $10
If you can afford it
Here's the link to join.
Shalom.